September 16, 2014 4:09 PM

Bearse: D*#ates are a Necessary Evil

From the right: QR’s conservative columnist argues the low number of gubernatorial debates is sufficient. “I don’t know the right number of d#ates, except it should be somewhere between 0 and the inane number conducted by the Republican presidential candidates of 2012.”

Is this not the most boring election cycle in modern memory? If it weren’t for Wendy Davis’ television ads where she says Greg Abbott is for rapists, cancer and standardized tests, we would all be comatose by now. The candidates for U.S. Senate, Lieutenant Governor, Attorney General and Comptroller are all in the witness protection program. Who knew Dan Patrick could be so quiet for so long?

We do have our first gubernatorial d#bate this week. As a survivor of Perry for President 1.0, I still get Vietnam flashbacks whenever someone says the word d#bate. I will always remember where I was when I witnessed those 49 seconds of terror…under my desk, looking for phone numbers for the Letterman producer. The other night, former Alabama QB Greg McElroy was broadcasting the Aggie game against the Little Sisters of the Poor, and said only three people can call him Gregory, and then proceeded to list four. I had a panic attack.

The conventional wisdom for the gubernatorial d#ate is that Abbott just wants to get by without any damage. No harm, no foul means he wins. There is some truth to that, though I think that is an over-simplification. This is the first time millions of Texans will see the main candidates for governor in an unscripted setting – well, sort of. I mean, Wendy Davis will be so scripted to say the word “insider” whenever possible it could lead to alcohol poisoning if you turn it into a drinking game. But there is always something the candidates don’t prepare for, which allows us to see them think on their feet. The point is not whether they can name the president of Mexico or the neighboring state governors (One Tough Monogram could not), but how they handle the unexpected. What do they emote on television? Are they cool under fire, too hot, robotic, warm, or drunk like Kinky seemed?

Eric Bearse is a speechwriter, political consultant and public relations specialist. He can be reached by e-mail at eric@ericbearse.com. His complete column can be found in today’s R&D Department.

By Eric Bearse